(PBP) The Letter C: Curse

**This post is part of the Pagan Blog Project. Weeks 5 and 6 are the letter C. For more about PBP, check out their website here.**

I want to state from the very beginning that this post is not intended to be informational. It is about my opinion and my personal journey regarding curses.  This post is about what has worked for me and my personal experiences regarding this subject.  In no way am I advocating for or against curses, nor am I attempting to tell anyone who reads this post whether they should or should not curse.

I say this because the subject of curses can be a very touchy subject, and from what I’ve seen online and in person, many people have a strong reaction on both sides of the issue and knee-jerk reactions are common as well.  Debates can turn into arguments can devolve into name-calling and worse.

When I first started learning, I used to believe that cursing was wrong.  I thought it was wrong and bad and a horrible thing to do.  To me, cursing was just as bad as physically assaulting someone, and in my young world, physical assault was never an option.  Therefore, curses were never an option.

Cursing was also heavily linked to the idea of karma.  If I cursed someone, I would incur bad karma.  If I just started cursing willy-nilly and for no reason or little reason, then I would incur really bad karma.

Since then, I’ve altered my opinion.  I’ve grown both in my understanding of metaphysical concepts and in my understanding of the world.  For someone who used to be so heavily against any kind of attack, for any reason, the alteration to a different stance is somewhat jarring.  I can compare myself of Then and myself of Now and see the change in my beliefs.  Now I believe it’s OK to attack in defense of self or others.  Now I believe it’s OK to retaliate when it’s warranted.  I still don’t believe it’s OK to curse or attack anyone without proper cause, however.  That just feels wrong to me.  I refuse to start a fight or attack, but when attacked, by the gods, I will finish it in one way or another (and not always by cursing).

I’ve also had my understanding of karma altered.  I used to see it as a giant scale that weighed and measured a person’s good and bad, and doled out the universal response accordingly.  In all honesty, I used to see it a kind of rule book.  I can now see, after more study of the concept of karma, how that was incorrect.  Karma is not a rulebook.  It’s more like the classical Justice figure on a cosmic scale.  Karma is the blind enforcer of energetic exchanges, but there is no judgment of good or bad.  “Good” and “bad” are human judgments.  Granted, there may be near-universal “bad” actions, such as murder, or near-universal “good” actions, such as charity, but what is good and what is bad is defined by humans.  Karma does not say that we should not commit murder because murder is bad; rather, karma is more a return of your own actions.  But karma won’t step in and stop you.  Karma won’t judge.  Karma will be a blind reflection, a blind enforcer.

So when people say that cursing gives you bad karma, that’s not exactly true– the action is neither good nor bad.  In my understanding, karma is like a giant mirror.  It is true that cursing will cause a reflection of the energy you’ve sent out, but that is true for any action.  What we send out, we receive.  Cursing someone with a bad case of acne or something will cause an equal reflection of that same energy back to you.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  So if you’re willing to accept the consequences of casting a curse on someone, then by all means, do so.  But I think most people are not aware (or don’t care) about the consequences of cursing, and so curse others blindly whenever they like.  That’s their choice, and I’m hardly one to tell them yea or nay.

I’ve never actually cursed someone.  I have done an action to speed up a person’s karma, but that’s not a curse–I simply asked they receive what they deserved.  There was one time when I had every right to curse someone because they stole a great deal of money from me, but I decided in the end that it wasn’t worth my time or energy (or the consequences) to curse them, I simply moved on from the incident and learned from it for the future.  I didn’t allow them to hold me back or pull me down, and I consider that a much more valuable use of my time and energy.

Now, in opposition to my earlier, younger position about cursing, I would put a curse on someone if they had threatened me or someone I care about, or if they threatened in some way my home or place of business.  At the moment, those are the only circumstances under which I would curse someone.  Those are the incidences I would consider worth the time, energy, and consequences of cursing.  As I grow older, that view may change.  And that’s OK.  Our views are meant to change and adapt as we grow and learn.

It’s OK to be Selfish

You read that right.  Read it again, just to be sure.  Yes, you read that title correctly.  Now, repeat after me:

It’s OK to be selfish.

Read once more.  Say it out loud.  Get the flavor of those words in your mouth and embedded in your mind.  It’s OK to be selfish.

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This is a hard lesson for many people to learn.  We’re told so often that we should think of others, that we should stop being selfish, that what we do or say helps no one but ourselves.

You know what?  Sometimes, it really is OK to be selfish.

This is important not only for mundane life, but for magical practice as well.  In everyday life, most of us are surrounded by people: on our commute, at our jobs, at home with family, etc.  And how many times have you heard “Stop being so selfish” or “you shouldn’t be selfish, you should share,” or any other variation?  My guess is, most of us have heard it many times over the years, and usually when someone wanted something from us, whether that something was our time, our attention, our services, or our toys.  (And don’t even get me started on sharing books . . . that’s another topic entirely.)

It is ingrained into us early on.  Selfishness is bad.  Selfishness on any level is bad.  Being selfish is horrible and negative and ugly.

After 26 years of life, my response is a big “screw that.”  Because I have finally learned it’s OK to be selfish.  It’s OK to take time for myself.  It’s OK to not waste my time and energy helping other people solve their problems when they don’t really want to solve their problems in the first place.  It’s perfectly alright to say no to someone’s request or demand.  It’s OK to not want to share certain things, especially if they’re special to me.  It’s acceptable to be selfish and place my wants and needs first.

Now, I’m not saying we should all turn into selfish brats that never share, never consider other people, and never place others’ needs first.

I am saying that there is a balance.  But first and foremost, you must take care of yourself first.  Otherwise, how can you possibly help anyone else?  If people are asking too much of you and you feel run-down and drained, it’s OK to step back and say you’re not going to help anyone else for a while until you’re back on your own two stable feet.  If people want money from you, but you have bills to pay, it’s OK to say that you have to pay your bills first and don’t have money to spare right now, but that maybe later on you would be able to help.  If people are invading your space and you’re trying to concentrate/study/sleep/relax, it’s OK to request that they leave or quiet down.

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It’s easy to overextend yourself, especially if that’s already in your basic nature.  I used to give so much of myself away to other people without even thinking about what that meant for me.  Then I would feel exhausted and drained and wonder why.  Eventually I figured it out: I was spending so much time and energy focused on others that I had stopped caring about myself.  And that’s when I discovered how pernicious and corrosive the never-be-selfish mindset truly is.

Magically speaking, I think it’s almost necessary to be somewhat selfish.  You have to make sure you’re not too drained, for example, so that you have enough energy to do whatever working or spell you want to do.  Protection spells are all over the place, but some people (myself included) never think to work one even when they need it.  Why?  Because you aren’t necessarily thinking about yourself first, you’re thinking about the other person or people who has posed the threat.  And in much of Paganism, the path is what you make it.  The right path for you is what feels right for you.  No one else.  If that’s not selfish, then what is?  You have to place your feelings and your intuition at the forefront of your mind, because that is what tells you if something is wrong or right.  Someone else could say such-and-such ritual is practiced all the time or so-and-so is a widely respected individual in the community, but if something doesn’t feel right to you, then for you it’s not right.  This idea of going with whatever works best or feels right for the individual is often spoken of in the wider Pagan community, but has anyone stopped to consider how selfish that notion really is?  It’s selfish in that in order for it to be true, each person must put themselves and their feelings first in their world.  And that’s perfectly OK.  You have to know what it is you want for your life in order to go after it, and what you want likely will not mesh with what other people want, or want for you.

It’s OK to put yourself first.  It’s OK to be selfish.  Just don’t get a big head about it!

(PBP) The Letter B: Books

**This post is part of the Pagan Blog Project. Weeks 3 and 4 are the letter B. For more about PBP, check out their website here.**

This week’s post is more of a reflection on how books have played a role in my spirituality.

I adore books.  I always have.  So when I wanted to learn more about Paganism, I went straight to the books.  My first Pagan book was Scott Cunningham’s Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner.

Books have been instrumental in developing my spirituality.  Without the beginner’s guide Cunningham’s books offered, I don’t know if I would ever have moved forward.  The Internet back then wasn’t very helpful and was still growing as more people gained access, so while it had some resources, I think there were more questionable sites than there are now.  Books were the best resources I had, since I lacked a teacher.

I don’t have many books on Paganism or metaphysics.  I’m very choosy in what I buy.  Some of my favorites have been Cunningham’s various books because they make a great starting point.  I also like Penczak’s books.  I haven’t read any of Buckland’s books yet, but I’ve heard good things about them.

Although I’m a big fan of books, I also realized quite early that books can only take you so far.  Even though the books were very helpful, they couldn’t be everything I needed them to be.  I wish I could have found a teacher sooner, but that was not to be.  I still give book recommendations to people though, because they do make a great starting point for research or study.  It’s wonderful that we can publish and access so many different books on Paganism and witchcraft and all the different traditions now; I mean, just 100 years ago, this would have been unheard of, and 300-400 years ago, this kind of material would have earned you a trial.

Some favorite books/authors:

• Scott Cunningham
• The Witches’ Goddess, by Janet and Stewart Farrar
• Christopher Penczak
• Ellen Dugan
• Psychic Tarot, by Nancy Antenucci and Melanie Howard

Some not-so-favorite books/authors:

• Silver Ravenwolf
• A Witch’s 10 Commandments, by Marian Singer

Finding the Spiritual in the Everyday

Finding the spiritual side of everyday life can feel like a monumental task. How, you may ask, can sweeping the balcony or driving to work be a spiritual act? How could watching a tv program have spiritual meaning?  Such mundane, seemingly unimportant acts can be transformed into spiritual acts if you set the intention to make them so.  For example, playing with your cat or dog can be just play and a good time, or it can be turned into a good time and a communion with Air and the Maiden Goddess (Air for the laughter that moves air through the body; the Maiden because Air is the element of the East, Her quarter, and playfulness is a quality of the Maiden).  What matters is that you set the intention, however briefly, to make the mundane act a spiritual one.  Awareness of the action is important.  Otherwise, it may make you feel good, but it likely wouldn’t have the same impact.

It’s even possible to find spiritual significance in something like a television show.  Believe it or not (and I can’t believe I’m admitting to this, but I am, so don’t laugh), I found a spiritual truth in a key episode of the British show “Doctor Who.”  It was the episode in which Rose, the Doctor’s companion, says “I create myself.”  I had watched that episode so many times, and nothing particularly spiritual or enlightening struck me about that scene.  And then I watched it after a particular class one evening and BAM! everything just clicked into place and I felt this bubble within expand until it filled all of me and burst, and for a moment the lesson resonated and felt so right.  The lesson I had been trying to understand from class, which had never truly made sense before, just all of a sudden clicked within me. I realized that, like this character in a tv show said, I create myself.  I make myself into the person I want to be.  I am the universe and the universe is me.  There’s more than just that, but it’s rather lengthy, and I don’t want to bore anyone with it.  Suffice to say, I found deep truths in an episode of science fiction.  I’m sure there are people out there who have found deep meaning in episodes of “Star Trek,” or “Stargate SG-1″ or “Avatar”.  It’s easier to spot if you’re paying attention, but sometimes they really can just sneak up on you when you’re ready to hear the message.  The same goes for movies.

Back to more mundane tasks.  Anything to do with cleaning–washing dishes, laundry, scrubbing floors or carpets, sweeping, spring cleaning, etc.–can be viewed as a cleansing act of not only the physical environment, but the inner environment as well.  Set the intention that when you clean or wash or scrub or sweep away the dirt, you are also cleaning out your spirit, and the energetic “dirt” from this spiritual cleansing is expelled from you and your space when you take out the trash or let the water drain when you’re done cleaning.

Cleaning is probably the easiest of the mundane tasks to turn into a spiritual activity.  But what about something like driving to work?  Or cooking a meal?  Well, commuting can be turned into an exercise in patience and goodwill toward others, which, depending on your driving habits, may be a challenge.  Cooking is an excellent way to acknowledge the earth and create a connection to the food you put in your body.  I don’t particularly enjoy cooking for myself, but I do like cooking for others.  I’ve noticed that when I cooked the food while in a good mood, it tends to taste much better than it would if I cooked while in a bad mood.  I pay attention when I’m cooking now, and pay attention most of the time to what’s going on my plate and into my body.

Once you start thinking of ways to make your days more magical, it gets easier to see how just about any activity in the average day can be turned into something that has spiritual significance.  This is especially freeing for those who are still in the closet and/or living with family that is not open to Pagan practices.  It’s easier to keep to spiritual practices if you can turn them into everyday actions that wouldn’t tip off unyielding family members.  This can also be good practice for those who are out of the closet as well.  Seeing the magic or spiritual side in the mundane opens the eyes to a whole new magical world in which anything and everything can have significance.

I’m Off!

Hello all my lovely readers!  Today I leave for a much-deserved and long overdue vacation, and my first trip overseas in 7 years.  I’ll be traveling to the land of my ancestors–England!  I’ll also stop in Wales and Scotland.  All very magical, old places, and I can’t wait to see it all!

I’ve set up some articles to automatically post while I’m away, but I won’t have continual Internet access.  If you want to leave a comment or send me an email, I encourage you to do so, but know that I may not respond in a timely fashion.  It’s not that I don’t want to respond–I’ll just be hiking my little heart out in the UK!  Until my return, enjoy the posts, and I’ll stop in as I can!