Question of the Week: Questions About Paganism

I’m a bit late in posting the question this week, but I hadn’t come up with a good one until this morning after I read yesterday’s Wild Hunt article on the Pagan bubble. (It’s a very interesting and thought-provoking read, I suggest checking it out.)  So this week’s question is geared for those people who have questions about Paganism in general.  You don’t have to be Pagan, or a certain subset of Pagan, to ask questions and receive an answer here.  Although my blog is written primarily for those who are involved with some kind of Pagan or metaphysical path, I encourage interfaith involvement and activity here as well.

Do you have any questions about Paganism?  What about a subset of Paganism, such as Wicca or Asatru? 

Post your questions in the comments section below!

(Or, if you’re shy and would rather ask a question privately, email awitchylife@gmail.com)

Pagan Coming Out Day

Today is Pagan Coming Out Day!

The event occurs every year and is meant to provide encouragement and support for those Pagans who choose to be more open about their beliefs.  The movement’s main website is here: http://pagancomingoutday.com/

Coming out of the broomcloset is a big decision.  I’ve written about this before, but I’d like to reiterate some points.  Coming out shouldn’t be done in haste, or out of a sense of revenge against family, to cause a ruckus, or other such motivations.  Coming out can have real repercussions on relationships, safety, and family.  I’m not trying to scare anyone–just offering a reminder that decisions like this need to be thought through.  It’s tough to go back in the closet once you’re out, even out by a little bit.  I was in the closet for a long time.  I still am, to a certain extent, because I know the effect it would have on my family and I am unwilling at this time to change those relationships.  But I would not be able to return fully to the closet now that I’ve got my foot out the door.

I fully support those who make the decision to come out of the closet.  It’s a difficult choice, and I commend those who have the strength and bravery to follow the path they feel is best for them.  I also fully support those who watch this day pass with wistfulness and the thought that maybe one day they will be able to take part.  This, too, is the path that is right for them at this moment in time.

Pagan Coming Out Day seems, to me, to be a day not just of awareness and revealing who you are–it is, at its core, a day of unity and cohesion when all the community should come together and recognize that together we can support each other and change our world for the better.

A Skewed View

I’ve gotten a lot of response to a previous post I wrote about anti-Wicca sentiments in the Pagan community, most of it positive.  Thank you for that, and for engaging in dialogue with me about what “Pagan community” means to you.  However, some have taken my words to mean a certain thing, or are misunderstanding, and I would like to clarify a few points.

I did not mean to convey that I think the community should be just happy and loving towards each other.  I do think we need to stop beating up on other people and tearing each other down when we should at the very least offer to lift each other up.  It is the other person’s choice whether to take the hand you offer, but if the hand is never offered, then you have no right to complain or whine or tear them down.

Skewing matters toward one end of a spectrum is entirely unhelpful and unrealistic.  We can’t be all light and love and happiness all the time.  Life does not work like that, and neither does a community.  If the message you received from my previous post was that we should all be happy and loving and wonderful 24/7, then I apologize–that was not the message I meant to convey.  I was writing my thoughts on an issue, my personal opinion, and was simply writing to express my opinion–not to form an academic argument or anything similar.  I was expressing what I believe to be true.

I absolutely agree that the Pagan community (whatever that means to you) is not all love and light.  It can’t be when we have so many diverse people coming from different religious, social, economic, and other backgrounds.  It can’t be when we are all facing so many different problems that need to be discussed and resolved.  Ignoring the problems does not make them go away.  It makes them worse in the way that a wound left untended will fester.

Do I think we need to stop being so negative?  Yes.  But with that statement, I do not mean we should ignore the problem.  I mean we should work to support the people who need supporting.  We should work to solve the problems that face us, both as individuals and as groups.  We should engage in dialogue, we should be talking about the issues we face and then put whatever plan we come up with into action so that the issues are resolved.

In addition, I mentioned very briefly the attitude and atmosphere of those Pagans on the Internet.  It seems to be prevalent among online Pagans to post or comment anonymously–this is understandable, as not all of us are willing or able to be out of the broomcloset about our spirituality.  However, we all need to remember that anonymity does not absolve you of responsibility.  What we say and do online has real-world consequences.  This very topic is being studied in  medical and psychological practices across the world.  Putting your words and thoughts into a space under the cover of anonymity does not mean you are no longer responsible for the things you say or write or do.  You are as responsible for online behavior as you are for real-world behavior.  I believe too many people believe this to be false, and that in and of itself is sad, horrifying, and shameful.

I believe our communities pride themselves on being fairly open-minded, supportive, and caring.  But all I see lately is the negativity, the sniping, the deliberate badmouthing and teenage-type gossip.  All I see lately are people acting in a shameful manner, from national “leaders” and all the way down, from people online to people in real life.  I’m not sure if that’s a problem with my view point, or a problem in the community itself–but to me, it is a problem.

The Importance of Pagan Student Groups on Campuses

Many young Pagans do not have opportunities to meet other Pagans and like-minded people, even in the era of the Internet.  This is especially true for those folks who live in or come from small towns and remote areas in which the prevailing mindset of families and neighbors may be less than open-minded, and in which Internet access may be few and far between.  But once those folks are able to get outside of the small town and into universities . . . that’s where the important changes can happen.  And not just for people from small towns and remote areas, either.  I attended high school in Waldorf, MD, and while I would not consider Waldorf to be remote (DC is only about 30 minutes away, after all), it definitely had what is commonly known as “small town mindset.”  My opportunities to meet other Pagans were almost non-existent, and I was not interested in trying to meet people online because it seemed unwise to do so.  The nearest metaphysical store was almost 2 hours away, so that was a bust.

But when I got to a big university and found the Pagan Student Union . . . literally, my life changed.  For the first time, I really met people who understood what I was going through, who didn’t look at me as if I were strange or crazy when I talked about magick or energy or gods.  People who didn’t tell me I was going to go to hell and didn’t try to shut me up.  On the contrary, they wanted to hear my opinions and viewpoints, and encouraged open discussion.  My mind and soul, so long deprived of real interaction with people who understood, burgeoned with new ideas and soaked up new information like a sponge (cliche, I know, but true).

I think groups like this are incredibly important.  Groups that cater specifically to minority faiths can help those who come from backgrounds like mine, as well as those who just want to expand their knowledge of other ways of being.  Groups like this, if they do active community work of some kind, help to foster a sense of community and dispel negative stories and beliefs held by others about their religion.  I think it’s very important to keep groups like this alive and thriving on university and college campuses, not only for the students and staff who are involved or want to be involved, but because these groups can help to improve the public image of the whole religion/spirituality/faith.  I’m not saying that that’s the most important part or reason for a group like the PSU, but it is something to really consider, in my opinion.  Most importantly, Pagan and other minority-faith student unions allow students and affiliated peoples to meet in a safe space, to learn, share, and grow with people who understand what they have been through and what they currently face.  My Christian friends may sympathize with what I have been through, for example, but until you have had verbal insults hurled at you for no other reason than your religion is different, you can’t truly understand what that feels like.  While I love my Christian and non-Pagan friends dearly, unless they have experienced something like that, they tend to give me the sympathetic look or the deer-in-headlights stare when I describe it.

Now, the main reason for writing this post is not only to state my opinion, but also to ask a question and ask for some advice.  In my opinion, I think my PSU is not doing enough to bring in new people.  The group seems to be a little bit stuck in terms of ideas and/or enthusiasm.  While there isn’t very much I can do about the enthusiasm except to try to help them more, I thought I would ask others for some ideas of how to bring in new people and inject some new life into the PSU.  What we’ve done in the past has been tarot readings (for free) at campus events, a bake sale, Q&A sessions, and advertising.  The tarot readings are usually a hit, but doesn’t tend to bring many people to the meetings.  Same with bake sales.  We’ve had limited success with Q&As, but truth be told, it apparently wasn’t enough.

So what are some other ideas of how to bring in people?  I’m afraid PSU will stagnate and die out once the current group has graduated in a year–and about half of the group has already graduated and is either in grad school, or just hanging out with old friends.  Once those old friends are graduated, that half won’t be showing up any more, either.  It would be a shame to have a resource like this fade away because the group’s leadership couldn’t be bothered to bring in enough new people to keep it alive when graduation forces a roll-over in membership.

After all, humans are herd animals, we follow the leader. A group is only as strong as its leader unless someone else steps up and does what needs to be done…but I’m afraid that’s a different topic entirely.

Why a Physical Pagan Community is Important

Everyone knows the Pagan online community is huge and growing by the day.  Blogs, websites, stores, podcasts, even social networking sites specifically for Pagans . . . the possibilities are pretty much endless.

But for many of us, our only Pagan interactions are online.  There are few physical interactions.  In large part this is likely due to the fact that so many of us are still in the closet.  It’s impossible to deny that the online world provides a veil of privacy for those who are not open about their religion or who cannot be open about it.  The Internet is a great tool for being able to learn from and interact with other Pagans through a veil of anonymity and relative safety.

Yet I think the reliance on Internet communities is working against the Pagan community as a whole.  By relying on the Internet as our main means of communication and dissemination of information, we really come up short.  For many of us, our greatest learning experiences, our greatest and most memorable interactions, our most lasting friendships and relationships come not from what we find on the Internet every day, but from living our lives and interacting with other people.

By not having more of an emphasis on a physical community, many of us remain isolated.  Lonely.  We stagnate because we can’t learn everything by reading about it (either in a book or online)–we need the interaction and free exchange of ideas that happens in natural conversation.  Sure, sometimes we can get lucky and find that particular conversation online, but how often has that happened?  By relying only on the online world, there still tends to be a great deal of misinformation spread, despite the popularity and number of Pagan-themed blogs and news sites that can help to correct misinformation.  Since the online world alone doesn’t seem capable of fixing such problems, it seems possible that physical communities might be able to add another protection against the spread of stereotypes and misinformation.

Most importantly, in my opinion, physical communities would provide a place for newbies to go in order to begin learning, practicing, and finding their path.  It is very difficult for many of us to get a good grasp by going it alone.  There’s nothing wrong with the Solitary path, but physical communities could provide a place for people new to the path to learn and grow in ways they might not have been able to by studying only on their own.

Now, you’re probably asking what the heck I mean by “physical communities.”  I do not mean a coven, grove, or anything else related to those ideas.  Such groups may arise naturally out of a physical community, but are not the basis.  What I mean when I say “physical community” is some manner for Pagans and interested parties to meet in person.  If you’re truly worried about identities, you don’t have to use your real name or give away any identifying information, like your address.  Study groups, dating groups, activity groups for Pagans to meet up and have fun at the movies, amusement park, regular park, picnics, etc.  When I say “physical community” I mean the people in a certain area get together and hang out for a bit, talk about certain topics, and meet up again at another time.  I personally like the idea of a “study group,” for lack of a better term, where I could meet up with Pagan folks every month or so and we can talk about and debate things like mythology, ethics, books, etc.  That way, I get to meet new Pagany people, maybe make some new friends, and maybe broaden my horizons by learning new things or seeing topics from different points of view.

By relying solely on the Internet for information and community, I really do think we end up shooting ourselves in the foot.  I’m not saying that we have to make these communities public knowledge or advertise in the newspaper or anything–we already have established websites for advertising and getting the word around.  Keeping meetings on the down-low would be fairly easy to accomplish, and maintaining some level of secrecy or privacy would also be available for those who want it.  But in my humble opinion, we all need to actively work on creating physical networks, for the health and strength of the Pagan community as a whole.