A Personal Dilemma

A personal dilemma has come up for me in the last 24 hours.  And since it concerns religion, I figure the blog might be the perfect place to explain and ask for advice.  (Since this concerns family, no names or identifying characteristics have been used.)

I got a letter yesterday from my family.  The letter turned out to be from my younger brother (allegedly from him–I’m thinking it’s probably my very religious, evangelical stepmother who really wrote it) asking for money for a trip to Peru this summer.

Normally, I’m all for supporting travel.  I think it’s important to travel around the world and see different cultures and places.  It’s a very eye-opening experience.  However, this trip my brother is planning is not a fun lets-learn-about-culture kind of trip.  No no, this trip is a missionary trip organized, I assume, through their church.

Here’s my problem: I want to support my brother.  If it weren’t a missionary trip, I would have forked over money without hesitation.  But it is a missionary trip, and spreading the word of God is the main focus.  He says in the letter that the group will take part in serving a needy community and reaching out to children in need by providing children’s programs the kids can attend.  But he also says that they will organize and fund a group of local students to travel through the mountains to spread the word of God with them.  “I’m very excited to be able to help children far less privileged than me by spreading the word of God.”

And that is the crux of my problem. How can I support something I very much disagree with, even when it’s my own brother?  I don’t agree with missionary organizations or people, and I cannot agree with or support their goals of spreading the word of God, especially when they do so while ostensibly giving aid to others.  In my opinion/belief, aid to these communities should be offered freely and from all for all, without any strings attached.  I believe it is the duty of all to help those in need, not for ulterior financial or religious motives, but from the goodness of our hearts and because it is the right thing to do.  It shouldn’t be a requirement or hurdle that in order to receive aid, you also have to put up with preaching and proselytizing.  And to proselytize to children strikes me as reprehensible and shudder-worthy.

I admit that not all missionaries are bad.  Some are very good people who genuinely want to help others.  They can bring much needed aid, supplies, and so forth to poorer communities, and not all of them inject extraordinary amounts of religion into their interactions with the communities.  But others are rather despicable and withhold aid unless the people convert or otherwise express a religious affiliation with the missionary.  Some missionaries take pains to turn a community against the non-believers in their midst in order to gain more followers.

It is possible that I’m being too close-minded about this.  I don’t have a very good opinion of missionaries, and I freely acknowledge that.  The idea that my brother might be turning into that type of person makes me cringe.  But I don’t think my brother is really into this.  I think he just wants to go to Peru, and is doing the church trip because it makes his mother happy and gives him the opportunity to travel.  Still, I have a serious personal conflict with giving money in support of such a trip with the goals that it has.

And I don’t know what to do about it.  Not contributing something means likely causing a family uproar once my stepmother finds out I didn’t send something. She will hold it against me and use it against me at some point.  She is that vindictive (some Christian she is).  I thought about writing to my brother and explaining why I won’t contribute toward the trip, but I don’t have his number or email, and he doesn’t have Facebook–so my only option is mail, and I don’t want his mother to open the letter, which she might very well do.  But saying nothing seems wrong; I don’t want him to think I don’t care or something like that.

And now I’m doing that Virgo thing where I over think things and look at all the different possibilities…

What do you all think?  What would you do in a situation like this?

Finding the Spiritual in the Everyday

Finding the spiritual side of everyday life can feel like a monumental task. How, you may ask, can sweeping the balcony or driving to work be a spiritual act? How could watching a tv program have spiritual meaning?  Such mundane, seemingly unimportant acts can be transformed into spiritual acts if you set the intention to make them so.  For example, playing with your cat or dog can be just play and a good time, or it can be turned into a good time and a communion with Air and the Maiden Goddess (Air for the laughter that moves air through the body; the Maiden because Air is the element of the East, Her quarter, and playfulness is a quality of the Maiden).  What matters is that you set the intention, however briefly, to make the mundane act a spiritual one.  Awareness of the action is important.  Otherwise, it may make you feel good, but it likely wouldn’t have the same impact.

It’s even possible to find spiritual significance in something like a television show.  Believe it or not (and I can’t believe I’m admitting to this, but I am, so don’t laugh), I found a spiritual truth in a key episode of the British show “Doctor Who.”  It was the episode in which Rose, the Doctor’s companion, says “I create myself.”  I had watched that episode so many times, and nothing particularly spiritual or enlightening struck me about that scene.  And then I watched it after a particular class one evening and BAM! everything just clicked into place and I felt this bubble within expand until it filled all of me and burst, and for a moment the lesson resonated and felt so right.  The lesson I had been trying to understand from class, which had never truly made sense before, just all of a sudden clicked within me. I realized that, like this character in a tv show said, I create myself.  I make myself into the person I want to be.  I am the universe and the universe is me.  There’s more than just that, but it’s rather lengthy, and I don’t want to bore anyone with it.  Suffice to say, I found deep truths in an episode of science fiction.  I’m sure there are people out there who have found deep meaning in episodes of “Star Trek,” or “Stargate SG-1″ or “Avatar”.  It’s easier to spot if you’re paying attention, but sometimes they really can just sneak up on you when you’re ready to hear the message.  The same goes for movies.

Back to more mundane tasks.  Anything to do with cleaning–washing dishes, laundry, scrubbing floors or carpets, sweeping, spring cleaning, etc.–can be viewed as a cleansing act of not only the physical environment, but the inner environment as well.  Set the intention that when you clean or wash or scrub or sweep away the dirt, you are also cleaning out your spirit, and the energetic “dirt” from this spiritual cleansing is expelled from you and your space when you take out the trash or let the water drain when you’re done cleaning.

Cleaning is probably the easiest of the mundane tasks to turn into a spiritual activity.  But what about something like driving to work?  Or cooking a meal?  Well, commuting can be turned into an exercise in patience and goodwill toward others, which, depending on your driving habits, may be a challenge.  Cooking is an excellent way to acknowledge the earth and create a connection to the food you put in your body.  I don’t particularly enjoy cooking for myself, but I do like cooking for others.  I’ve noticed that when I cooked the food while in a good mood, it tends to taste much better than it would if I cooked while in a bad mood.  I pay attention when I’m cooking now, and pay attention most of the time to what’s going on my plate and into my body.

Once you start thinking of ways to make your days more magical, it gets easier to see how just about any activity in the average day can be turned into something that has spiritual significance.  This is especially freeing for those who are still in the closet and/or living with family that is not open to Pagan practices.  It’s easier to keep to spiritual practices if you can turn them into everyday actions that wouldn’t tip off unyielding family members.  This can also be good practice for those who are out of the closet as well.  Seeing the magic or spiritual side in the mundane opens the eyes to a whole new magical world in which anything and everything can have significance.

Pagan Coming Out Day

Today is Pagan Coming Out Day!

The event occurs every year and is meant to provide encouragement and support for those Pagans who choose to be more open about their beliefs.  The movement’s main website is here: http://pagancomingoutday.com/

Coming out of the broomcloset is a big decision.  I’ve written about this before, but I’d like to reiterate some points.  Coming out shouldn’t be done in haste, or out of a sense of revenge against family, to cause a ruckus, or other such motivations.  Coming out can have real repercussions on relationships, safety, and family.  I’m not trying to scare anyone–just offering a reminder that decisions like this need to be thought through.  It’s tough to go back in the closet once you’re out, even out by a little bit.  I was in the closet for a long time.  I still am, to a certain extent, because I know the effect it would have on my family and I am unwilling at this time to change those relationships.  But I would not be able to return fully to the closet now that I’ve got my foot out the door.

I fully support those who make the decision to come out of the closet.  It’s a difficult choice, and I commend those who have the strength and bravery to follow the path they feel is best for them.  I also fully support those who watch this day pass with wistfulness and the thought that maybe one day they will be able to take part.  This, too, is the path that is right for them at this moment in time.

Pagan Coming Out Day seems, to me, to be a day not just of awareness and revealing who you are–it is, at its core, a day of unity and cohesion when all the community should come together and recognize that together we can support each other and change our world for the better.

A Skewed View

I’ve gotten a lot of response to a previous post I wrote about anti-Wicca sentiments in the Pagan community, most of it positive.  Thank you for that, and for engaging in dialogue with me about what “Pagan community” means to you.  However, some have taken my words to mean a certain thing, or are misunderstanding, and I would like to clarify a few points.

I did not mean to convey that I think the community should be just happy and loving towards each other.  I do think we need to stop beating up on other people and tearing each other down when we should at the very least offer to lift each other up.  It is the other person’s choice whether to take the hand you offer, but if the hand is never offered, then you have no right to complain or whine or tear them down.

Skewing matters toward one end of a spectrum is entirely unhelpful and unrealistic.  We can’t be all light and love and happiness all the time.  Life does not work like that, and neither does a community.  If the message you received from my previous post was that we should all be happy and loving and wonderful 24/7, then I apologize–that was not the message I meant to convey.  I was writing my thoughts on an issue, my personal opinion, and was simply writing to express my opinion–not to form an academic argument or anything similar.  I was expressing what I believe to be true.

I absolutely agree that the Pagan community (whatever that means to you) is not all love and light.  It can’t be when we have so many diverse people coming from different religious, social, economic, and other backgrounds.  It can’t be when we are all facing so many different problems that need to be discussed and resolved.  Ignoring the problems does not make them go away.  It makes them worse in the way that a wound left untended will fester.

Do I think we need to stop being so negative?  Yes.  But with that statement, I do not mean we should ignore the problem.  I mean we should work to support the people who need supporting.  We should work to solve the problems that face us, both as individuals and as groups.  We should engage in dialogue, we should be talking about the issues we face and then put whatever plan we come up with into action so that the issues are resolved.

In addition, I mentioned very briefly the attitude and atmosphere of those Pagans on the Internet.  It seems to be prevalent among online Pagans to post or comment anonymously–this is understandable, as not all of us are willing or able to be out of the broomcloset about our spirituality.  However, we all need to remember that anonymity does not absolve you of responsibility.  What we say and do online has real-world consequences.  This very topic is being studied in  medical and psychological practices across the world.  Putting your words and thoughts into a space under the cover of anonymity does not mean you are no longer responsible for the things you say or write or do.  You are as responsible for online behavior as you are for real-world behavior.  I believe too many people believe this to be false, and that in and of itself is sad, horrifying, and shameful.

I believe our communities pride themselves on being fairly open-minded, supportive, and caring.  But all I see lately is the negativity, the sniping, the deliberate badmouthing and teenage-type gossip.  All I see lately are people acting in a shameful manner, from national “leaders” and all the way down, from people online to people in real life.  I’m not sure if that’s a problem with my view point, or a problem in the community itself–but to me, it is a problem.

Question of the Week: Pagan Community

Well, a lot has happened this weekend which has me questioning whether a “Pagan community” actually exists.  Can we claim that we are a community?  Does this community only exist online, or are there real-world communities as well?  I read a number of opinions recently that seem to be saying we can’t call ourselves a community, or that Pagans as a general whole are not a community at all.  These opinions seem to imply that the subsets of Paganism may have some kind of community–such as a Wiccan community, an Asatru community, a Druidic community, etc.–but that a general, umbrella-term Pagan community does not in fact exist.

What do you think?  Is there a Pagan community?  Is it only online or does it have a mirror in the real world as well?

As usual, post opinions and responses in the comments section. No flaming.