What an attention-grabbing title! If three years of high school journalism taught me anything, it’s that the title should always grab attention. And what a provocative and debated subject! If I don’t get a bunch of traffic from “love spells” alone, I’ll be shocked.
Love spells are one of those things that are popular, greatly discussed yet secretive, and one of the most misunderstood and stereotypical topics. In general, I think most people don’t like to talk about love magick (especially in America, where most of us are prudes and sex is a dirty topic) but want to find information about it nonetheless.
Does this mean I’m going to give you love spells? Hells no. And while I might share some ideas for love magick later on, I will not be giving any recipes for spells or potions or anything else, and love magick is a topic for another day. This post is more a discussion on the ethics of love magick and what that means in the context of the Rede and such.
The Rede–granted, this belongs mainly to Wicca, but many other Pagans outside of Wicca also adhere to this–says “An it harm none, do what thou wilt.” What does this mean for love magick? In this context, it’s generally understood to mean that a love spell is not a good thing to do because it is harming the person the spell is directed toward, and it does so because the spell makes them more susceptible to the suggestion that they should be in a relationship (of some kind, from booty call to full-on boyfriend/girlfriend) with the caster. It interferes with their free will and freedom of choice.
Another take on love spells I’ve heard fairly recently is that this view is–for lack of a better word–ridiculous. The argument against the “love spells interfere with free will” idea ran thus: a spell cannot actually control someone else’s will, and if the spell “succeeds”, then the person it was cast on was already open to the idea presented in the spell. So, for example, if I were to cast a love spell on a guy I like so that he asks me out, and he actually does ask me out, then the spell didn’t really influence his free will, it only “worked” because he was already open to the idea.
I can see both sides of this, I think. I personally would not cast a love spell on another person. That isn’t to say I never have–when I first started out in exploring the Pagan path, I cast at least two love spells on a particular person. They didn’t work, surprise, surprise, and I actually felt pretty horrible about it after with just the thought that I might be controlling or influencing someone else. I believe it’s wrong to intentionally send energy to or cast on another person without their consent. If I were to cast a spell for love, it would be more general and less specific–meaning, I would be looking to attract love but not a specific person, so I wouldn’t be placing energy on someone else. Does that make sense?
While I can see the argument that a love spell can’t actually control someone’s free will like we think of in fairy tales and stories, I also think it’s imprudent to discount so heavily the influence energy can have on another person. Can you make someone fall head over heels in love with you and be your love slave forever? No. I doubt very much that that is possible. But if you send enough energy their way looking for love from them, I do think it’s reasonable to think that if given enough time (and assuming that the person isn’t already open to the idea of love with the caster) the target’s natural energetic defenses could wear down and make them more susceptible to the suggestion of the spell. In some way, shape, or form, I think the love spell does have an effect on the targeted person, and I can’t see how that is right or justified in any way.
So, to summarize:
- I will not give out love spells. So don’t even ask.
- A love spell or love potion does not work like they do in fairy tales and movies to create an immediate or all-consuming lover. Such spells and potions instead tend to give the suggestion of love to the targeted person.
- While a love spell will not allow the caster to control another person’s will, I do think the spell can allow the caster to give the suggestion to the target.
- It is not wise to think that energy targeted to another person will have no effect at all, even if it is not the intended effect.
- Instead of casting a love spell on a specific person, I recommend performing love magick that draws love to you rather than a specific person. This avoids the idea that you as the caster are influencing someone else’s free will and choice, as all you are doing is sending out energy to the universe saying that you’re looking for and are open to love.