I have recently come to accept that I’ve reached a low point in my spirituality. I’m sure I’m not the first, nor will I be the last, to realize that sometimes a spiritual crisis doesn’t necessarily mean something has to happen to you, but rather nothing can happen to you. (Did that make sense? That may have made more sense in my head than on screen . . . )
I don’t know what to call this period in my spirituality. A low point? A slow period? A fallow time? Whatever it is, it’s the reason I haven’t been around on the blog lately. I’ve felt burned out. The beliefs I held before are still there (well, the majority of them), but the practices that made me a practicing Pagan now feel hollow and shallow. It’s because there’s no emotion behind the practice. There’s no feeling, no oomph to drive things forward and create a real connection. Even the thought of practice makes me cringe right now, because I just don’t feel like I have the energy, or like I could muster the energy. It would feel hollow and fake, and that’s no way to approach magical (or spiritual) practice.
This is why I haven’t been around on here, my beloved blog, very much in the past few months. I’ve found myself wondering what to write about. Since I chose to leave the coven classes, I’ve found myself faced with the questions of what to do next, where to go next, what to write about next. If I’m not involved in spiritual practice, how then could I write about it without feel like some kind of awful pretender? This is what I have found myself facing, and I don’t have any other answer except rather than trying to find the next activity, next destination on my spiritual path, next article idea . . . I just take this slow time to discover who I am and what the hell I really want for myself and my life. No better time than now to consider those questions. Rather than try to force through something that does not feel right anymore, rather than try to keep busy and move forward spiritually . . . just let it be. Allow the slow period to happen and then pull myself up when the time is right.
I am not shutting down the blog. I will be back, I promise. I don’t know when, but I will. I will create posts as inspiration strikes. Eventually, I’ll get back into blogging here more regularly and I look forward to reading all of your comments and insights when I do!
Have any of you experienced something like this? What did you do or how did you get through it?